i have always been convinced about the existence of an absolute truth. its existence is not a moral concept. rather like numbers, it is an abstract one. there's nothing right or wrong abt it. nor is there a good & bad. it just is in a state of complete neutrality and simplicity. and it powers everything.
am of the opinion there's only an impediment or empowerment of it that lies in our hands. impediment means to over time to break down. empowerment leads to both greater awareness & deeper disassociation.

widowed

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incidentally am not looking for approval from any quarter. lemme be & i'll let you.

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listening to -
tegan and sarah. alternative music. these twins sing as if every thing about life was made into a song. best thing is that you did want to sing along. that's great right. no jim morrison like dwelling in the other world. it's folkish without a banjo. good stuff.

john vanderslice & the slip.

user-generated content. everyone's talkin about it. it's the thing now etc. my problem with 'the thing now' is that limits the range of innovation. i thought this article Thoughts on the Social Graph gave a different point of view but it's still not there.

what is the purpose of innovation? to just create or to create something that's useful to humanity? i am driven by the need to look into the future and to figure out what's the next big thing. what are people looking for? are they getting what they are looking for? how easy or how difficult is it? is it a good idea to cater to the masses or should we take risks to create the next big thing? and most importantly, how important is to want to be with the winning side always?
and all i see is this image of a hardcore exec, dressed formally and a cold expression in her eyes.

woke up this morn with a distinct bad-head-day feeling. you know the one that comes along with a hangover. soon as i started on the note of how everything so far had gone wrong, the method of disassociation popped in my head. and the feeling was of floating in a blue realm. skies exactly. sitting on a fluffy cloud & contemplating the mortals beneath. specifically me.
and the absolute irony of it all struck me. really this life on earth is like one big experiment. you know like the experimentations in trying to snort while drinking water. something like that. and for the life of me i couldn't understand why i had taken everything so seriously until then. since it's all an experiment without hypothesis (if there's one i don't know & couldn't care less to know), I might as well continue with my explorations without a care. well, of course the results matter. you know, i really wouldn't want to stare in the face of a mutant amoeba coz i couldn't care less. you get my drift right? just that, there's a bigger need to remain unaffected by our situations. it will all change.
only thing that matters is to have fun.

am seriously upset with people who don't know me judging what i do & don't. and most often these are people who mean something to me which is why i am upset in the first place. but like i was discussing with my ex-boss, i will disassociate such people and opinions and get on with my life. doing exactly what i want & will.

lost my cool with a security of the food court in our tech park. apparently outside food is not allowed. we thot since others in our group are getting it from the food court it wouldn't matter much. but this lady walky-talky & uniform in tow comes along and demands we clear the premises, home food & all. i say alright but i have started with my food. can i at least finish it. not only does she say no but goes on a tirade of how others will follow suit etc. i lost it. i told her that i would go but she better get going too. "now"... i didn't want security escort out of the food mall.

my only regret is of having lost my cool. but lately, i have been finding it hard to hold my temper in view of such idiotic applications of stupid rules. like yday at the club a totally unconcerned official asks us to show identification of our temp membership. we have a swimming admit. who the f*** is he when our coach & the swimming security has cleared us?

or am i exaggerating my reactions to these actions of official stupidity? dunno but i need to get a hold on my rather quick temper. coz such 'incidents' will repeat.

to master one's own emotions is bloody difficult. to get out of habitual procrastination is even worse.