i dislike postmortems and comparing answers. and i have always let go of my friends easily, much to my regret later. yet it seems, i can't help but indulge in both - postmortems or losing friends. yes, another friend had enough of my uneasy involvement. funnily, i was wondering when she would up and set me to her invectives. which she did, quite cruelly. 'who cares what i realy want'... to give her credit, none will care enough to get me what i really want. but there are a few who care about what i really want. well, coming back to my 'whatever' train of thought/catharsis/self-delusion/rationalisation, am sorry for being me. flaky about friendships & promises. but am tired of apologising to everyone (not that my friend wanted it. she told me to 'pls cut it') about my choices, about what i want... this is it. this is who i am...
incidentally, found a nuggy in tehelka - apparently p.g.wodehouse said -
“It is a good rule in life never to apologise. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”