i start the day today feeling supremely calm and happy, and as the day progresses i feel that perhaps one day will go by without me getting upset. and bang.

i am told not to take things personally. honestly, i don't really understand what that means. i think it means to reach a stage where you won't feel bad doing/saying something that will not affect you even if you are on the receiving end. thing is i don't do/say such things. and very seriously i don't want to be subjected to the same.

in my case, it's bcoz of banging my head against a lethargic system that doesn't really know how to reward its performers. add to that my innate laid back-ness. not a great formula.

still i feel that there's a better way/method of coping. i don't want to get upset/stressed about things i can't do much about. but then when one wants to change the system/process there is a way right? i think i should focus my energies on immediate gains. keep taking those small steps.

however, the art of keeping calm demands that one lets go. forget it. there will be a time to strike. until then keep one's mind clear and focussed. build up one's case. keep collecting those minor evidences. then when one has one's case well researched, strike. strike so hard that the foe falls dead. then work slowly towards burying them/it.